Happy Halloween Little Bean!

We're looking forward to our first spooktacular Halloween experience,
can't wait to share the details!

The bean at his first Halloween party :o)

The bean turns 1/2!!

Happy Half Birthday my sweet boy!

I cannot believe how quickly 6 months have passed. I plan on writing a proper update, but wanted to share these pictures from our special day.

Some of the highlights included: ~A marathon 2 1/2 hour nap - Mommy didn't know what to do with herself when she is so used to 30 minutes naps! ~A little shopping excursion where your adoring public showered you with compliments ha, ha! ~And some fun time with Daddy...

Waking up

So happy!

The essential monthly shot

Enjoying some quality time with your toys

The end!

Going Green with the Bean

Ever since I had Charlie the pile of catalogs I get in the mail has about quadrupled in size, to where the mailman is shoving them so hard into my mailbox that I nearly need a crowbar to free them!

So many of them I have zero interest in ever buying from- so imagine my joy when I happened upon this website. You can pick and choose the catalogs you do not want to receive and the free service contacts the merchandiser on your behalf. Think of how many trees you'll be saving (wink), how much garbage you'll reduce and just time in having to wade through all the junk to get to the 'real' mail.

Oh and the random picture of the bean is just thrown in there because I seem to not be able to post lately without a picture ;o)

Just another day in paradise...

This past Sunday Charlie was having a rough go of it. He hasn't been sleeping well at night or napping great during the day All that makes for a very cranky boy when you throw the reflux into the equation. Below is a shot of one of the few moments he was not crying/whining while on our pumpkin-picking-outing.

Last night I was trying to get Charlie to settle in the wee hours of the morning without much luck. I tried rocking him, patting his toosh, singing, using the sleep sheep sound machine, mobile with stars, soother... In the midst of it all, poor Joe was trying to sleep and had pulled his pillow over his head in an attempt to block out some of the noise.

After my sixth attempt to come back to bed, Charlie went into the whimpering/moaning cries again. Then Malcolm decides he wants to flee the area- to try and find some quiet- and walks over Joes pillow. Mid-walking Malcolm starts to have an asthma attack right on Joe's head. So now my husband trying to get some ounce of peace is trapped under his pillow by the cat and Charlie is crying away. I had to laugh, it was far too comical a scene.

Naps and More...

Thursday the bean was not too kean on taking naps. No matter what I tried, he was going bonkers and effectively making me go bonkers too. That, coupled with Joe getting home very late multiple nights in a row, left me feeling a bit trapped inside the house. When Joe called on his way home I told him I was going to have to take a drive once he arrived.

I left the house, drove to Marshalls to try a squeeze in a bit of retail therapy before they closed their doors for the evening. I thought maybe I could find a little sweater to brighten my spirits, but the same thing happened that always happens anytime I go shopping. I undoubtedly end up in the baby section scouring the racks for cute clothes, fun toys or books for my bean. I walked out with a cute little sweater for him in tow (see picture below) and then drove to the beach and read for an hour before walking back in the door.

I'm definitely a different person now. Shopping for my little boy gives me so much more joy then it ever did for myself. I'll have to keep my habits in line because I will not allow myself to raise a child that is not gracious and thankful for what he has.

I had a doctor's apppointment the other day and the PA asked me how I felt about motherhood. The only word I could think of to describe my emotions about it was 'more.' Not very eloquent I guess, but it was the one thing that jumped to mind. More than I ever expected it to be, of course more difficult than any job I ever worked at...but also more amazing.

Life has more beauty then ever before- seeing the autumn leaves bursting with vivid color takes on new meaning when you sharing that with a little miracle. Every day I feel more. I fall more in love just when I think my heart couldn't be capable of more. All because of my little bean...

In honor of Halloween...

We tried on some of our 'festive apparel' ;o)

Sweet tooth...

Today the bean and I spent part of the afternoon making cookies for Daddy. I worked out a new recipe for craisin-oatmeal-walnut-white choc chip cookies that came out pretty darn good. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures because I was too busy keeping the bean interested swirling the batter ingredients in front of him and making funny noises.

I do, however have a preppy-bean shot I took to post on the Gap's casting call website. I never thought I would enter a contest like that, but if it mean free adorable gap onesies for Charlie, then I'm in!

I need to start brainstorming ideas for the big Christmas card picture. Honestly, I'm so excited that all I have to do this year is take a cute picture and pick out a greeting and then print out some labels and be done. At least one thing is easier during the holidays by having a baby!

Nap time!

I thought I'd post some pictures of my big boy snoozing in his crib ;o)

And then a respite...

Last night I decided to put Charlie in his crib for the first overnight 'stay.' I had napped him in it before to get him familiar with the new surroundings. I also figured since I was already barely getting any sleep that I might as well start this transition for him, since he was far too big for his bassinet.

The night went amazingly well ::insert a big exhale:: He rustled in there off and on for the first few hours, but then settled in. At three he woke up because he had rotated completely sideways and his head and feet were touching the edges of the crib. I was able to get him to back to sleep fairly easily. At six he woke up hungry but after about a half hour of soothing him, he went back to sleep yet again!

Of course I didn't sleep great worrying about him and wondering if he would be ok so far away (insert sarcasm ha). But I still had the best nights' sleep in as long as I can remember, so that's a triumph in itself.

My little boy is growing up. I'm going to miss him being so close at night, but letting go is an essential part of being a parent- a skill I need to learn sooner than later.

Dejected

The past month we (the bean and I, and subsequently Joe also) have not been sleeping well. After the doctor visit last week I was hopeful things were going to look up.

This is a brief look of what my nights have been like: Bean goes to bed at 8ish, 930 he fusses, 1130 he fusses, 230 he fusses, 330 he fusses, 4am he wants to eat and then does not want to go back to sleep until 530-6.

This morning and afternoon he wouldn't take a bottle, cried for a half hour before taking his nap and then-when I was so excited that I was able to get a good feeding of bananas, cereal and carrots down- he threw everything up including his medicine.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't my son just be able to eat, enjoy his food, be nourished by it and keep it down?

If it were just the throwing up maybe I could handle it, but that combined with no sleep (and crying too) is reducing me to a sobbing mess. I hate to say this but at this moment I never want to have another child again. If there is the potential that the next child might have this and suffer so much, why do it?

How can I ever say no to this face?!

All I can say is- I'm in trouble....

Our fourth month

Dear little bean,

Wow little man, the time is just flying. Some more ups and downs this month with your reflux battles, but you already have so much strength that you inspire your Mommy.

You've been much more playful this past month, giggling, enjoying your exersaucer. Your favorite playthings though, are your toes. You can't get enough of your feet, in fact the other day I caught you trying to smush your whole foot into your mouth. You managed to get the big toe in, now I wonder if your going to be a toe-sucker versus a thumb sucker!

You love music and the silly songs I make up during the day, for a while you're favorite was "Shake, Shake, Shake....Shake, Shake, Shake...Shake your foody (to the beat of shake your booty). Mommy needed something to entertain herself during the many times she's mixing your formula.

You've been imitating more- sticking your tongue out and mimicking the sounds I make for you. You've also become very interested in Malcolm, you get excited when you catch site of him.

When I give you a bottle now you play gentle with my fingers- a stark contrast to the grabbing and tugging you like to do at other times-ouch!

You're twisting and splashing in the bath (not sure if you understand the splashing yet but...) AND you're getting closer to sitting up on your own strong boy. Towards the end of the month you started doing the tripod-woohoo!

The past week you've been opening and puckering your mouth when you see the bottle- it's totally adorable. The biggest, new thing we're doing now is solids!! It's been so much fun to see you discover and play with your food and new tastes. You prefer mixed cereal over oatmeal and barley and also love carrots-yeah! Let's hope the veggie proclivity continues...

I can't believe how fast your growing little bean. before I was a stop and smell the roses type, but it was more of a smell those roses quickly and check it off the list of things done for the day.

Now, my little man, thanks to you, I am able to relish the moment, savor the times that I hold you in my arms sleeping and not rush to put you to bed. I can watch your little face dreaming and wait for that moment where you take your big sigh, when you've completely relaxed and let go.

All my love,
Mama

A day in the life of...

I attempted to get some paperwork completed this afternoon while Charlie was awake and playing. Perhaps that was my first mistake.

He starts fussing not longer after, so I pick him up while attempting to change an ink cartridge on my printer/copier. I replace said cartridge and try to get printing, but then the frickin machine wants to eat yet another cartridge. I try to shove another cartridge in with barely a free hand and the damned thing decides it wants to have a meltdown.

Just as I start to get frustrated, Charlie projectile vomits all over my paperwork, me, himself, the camera, ink cartridge, and the carpet-bonus points to the bean for hitting more than five items at once with his throw-up. I strip us down right there and go upstairs to change us both into fresh, dry clothes.

Put Charlie in the middle of my bed as I pull on a t-shirt and he starts to fuss again just as I hear Malcolm vomiting in the other room. Loverly, I get to clean up vomit from not one, but two species today- what a treat!

I walk over to the fussbudget on the bed and as soon as he sees me he starts to laugh- real funny…the bean and Malc must be in on some joke to prevent me from accomplishing anything whatsoever today.

Thank god for baby giggles because I would be committed by now if not for them…
ha just as I finished this entry the bean spit up on my clean yogas, so I’m posting this in my underwear- oy is all I can say.

5 month photo shoot

Here's our official 5 month shots!
I'm a little late on this and my monthly update-bad Mommy!

After a nice day with friends, we decided to stop down by the beach.
What a beautiful night it was.