Tuesday, October 7, 2008


The past month we (the bean and I, and subsequently Joe also) have not been sleeping well. After the doctor visit last week I was hopeful things were going to look up.

This is a brief look of what my nights have been like: Bean goes to bed at 8ish, 930 he fusses, 1130 he fusses, 230 he fusses, 330 he fusses, 4am he wants to eat and then does not want to go back to sleep until 530-6.

This morning and afternoon he wouldn't take a bottle, cried for a half hour before taking his nap and then-when I was so excited that I was able to get a good feeding of bananas, cereal and carrots down- he threw everything up including his medicine.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't my son just be able to eat, enjoy his food, be nourished by it and keep it down?

If it were just the throwing up maybe I could handle it, but that combined with no sleep (and crying too) is reducing me to a sobbing mess. I hate to say this but at this moment I never want to have another child again. If there is the potential that the next child might have this and suffer so much, why do it?


Amanda said...

Kelly, you're doing great. Hang in there! Just FYI, Charlie's twin, Ethan has been doing the SAME thing at night. He's up a good 2 or 3 times when before he was sleeping soundly all through the night. Maybe a growth spurt, maybe a phase...let's hope. This happened with my nephew too and apparently after a month, it was back to sleep. Fingers crossed!

Kelly said...

Thanks for your kind words Amanda, I really appreciate it. I hope things have gotten better for you ;o)

sept said...

oh no kelly! you're a great mom, and you're doing a wonderful job! i've been reduced to tears many times over smaller incidents than this. you are a strong woman, and i totally admire you for the dedication you've given charlie.

Kelly said...

Thank you Sept! I miss you, how have you been?

sept said...

i've missed you too!!! :) i've been good, the port man is getting big - he's in 9m clothes already (he's long) - and i'm slowly getting smaller. i'm down to just over 10 lbs above pre pg weight. gosh, it's those last 10 i hear is so hard to lose. well, i'm there. it awkward cause i can't quite fit into my old clothes, but most of my maternity clothes are baggy. and it's not like i want to go out and buy new clothes for a stage i don't exactly want to hang around it. :P

so, porter rolled over for the first time a little over a week ago. and he's really started to chat. he literally says "blablabla" sometimes. sooo cute. he's also recently discovered his feet, and has become very grabby at them. lol, and everything else around him. especially the faucet at bathtime. it's a pull down sprayer. he loves it. :)

oh, i got back some professional pics about a month ago. i should email you some, they came out really nice. wait... i posted them on botb, did you see them there?

other than that, really just the same old same old. wanting to know who my little man is, but missing the baby he's slowly grownig beyond. :)

Kelly said...

Sept- first of all I did not see the pictures so you must send over a few please!

Secondly it sounds like your little man and Charlie could swap stories because they sound like they're in a similar stage grabbing/rolling and blabla-ing!

And I know about those last few pounds- I have the same last 10 to lose myself but I'm trying not to dwell and also trying to stay in the same clothes so not to spend anymore money on in-between sizes like you mentioned. Wow that was a run-on! But congrats to us both for being nearly there ;o)

sept said...

you'll have mail tonight! :)


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