Friday, September 12, 2008


We had a rough day today. My poor bean was sooo grumpy that I remember looking at the clock at one point and realizing that only minutes had passed since I had last looked at it. Minutes that felt like hours-ouch.

The lack of sleep left me feeling frazzled, and trying to figure out what it was that was making Charlie so unhappy was draining. Then I thought back to the night before. I had given Charlie one of my last portions of frozen breastmilk (yes, I've been rationing that like a maniac all summer). The bit that I gave him happened to be from the day I 'gave up' and decided to start eating dairy products. I can't think of anything else, save a delayed reaction to vaccinations, that could have caused his restlessness and crying fits. (I was hanging onto this milk to see if Charlie had outgrown his milk intolerance.)

So that's it, I've decided to dump/ditch/trash the last of my milk supply. Not that it would have lasted much longer any way. It's time to finally let go; relinquish the link to Charlie that I clung so fiercely to. It doesn't define me as a mother, or lessen our in the garbage it goes.


Anonymous said...

Did you already toss your milk? If not you may want to look into being a doner to the Mother's Milk Bank! There are a lot of newborns that could use it! I donated and it was worth it. You can check out my blog about it at: You'll have to look down toward the bottom of the page into August's posts. I'm sorry to hear he wasn't feeling better! Kim

Kelly said...

Thanks so much Kim- I would have donated it but it was getting close to expiring as it was. I will definitely keep that in mind for the next baby.

Looking forward to checking out your blog :o)


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