Monday, July 28, 2008

Reflux is the devil

Just when things seemed to be getting better, we took a turn for the worse. Poor Charlie began regressing last week and over the weekend we were back to hours of crying and feedings of an ounce-yes that's one ounce for my three month old baby (who should be taking 5-6ozs per feeding). He refused to eat, it's obvious he is in pain. Because he isn't eating enough during the day we're now getting up in the middle of the night too- woohoo!

I hate this, I feel helpless(nearly always), hopeless (at times) and clueless (often). Helpless when my baby is crying and nothing I try to do can help make it better. Clueless because as a new mom I feel a bit lost. I can't even focus on stimulating and helping Charlie develop more when he doesn't feel well. It feels as though every time we take a step forward in this process, that we ultimately end up taking two steps back. We are on a reflux rollercoaster, one day can be amazing and the next nightmarish. Somebody get me off this damned ride!

Tomorrow we are going to have an ultrasound to rule out pyloric stenosis and any other possible abnormalities. I'm praying everything comes back normal because I might have a minor mental breakdown if someone has to actually cut into my child.

This has not been easy on the marriage either. Joe and I have been short with each other, barking back and forth-blame it on the frazzled nerves. That, coupled with the hormone fog I'm wading through right now (thank you Aunt Flo), is adding fuel to the fire.

Despite all of this we had a couple of moments of bliss today where I was able to capture a few shots of my little bean and document his 3 month birthday. I'll have to post them tomorrow because now I need some sleep and a little time to remind myself of the blessings in my life...

3 months old

2 comments:

BECAUSEICAN said...

Oh Kelly, I am so sorry you're going through such a rough time with Charlie. I found out last year through EGD that I have a weak (and at times, inactive) pyloric muscle, which attributed to my GERD, and my colitis. It's NOT fun...even as an adult, so if that's what's going on with Charlie, no wonder he's having such a tough time. I did not have to have mine treated with surgery, just lots of meds--but obviously most of those probably aren't available for him. You have my sympathy, and just remember--the doctors are still searching for answers, and they WILL find one (for all of you). Keep up the good work--you are a great mom, and doing everything you can for your little man.

Kelly said...

Bic thanks so much for your kind words and sympathy. I'm sorry you've had to go through similar issues yourself.

We'll get there eventually, I'm just hoping sooner rather than later.

 

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