Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Ups and Downs

It's amazing to me how much one day can differ from the next. Charlie was a very unhappy baby yesterday for the.whole.day. Everything I tried wasn't working.

Today he is totally different baby. Yes, he fusses a bit, but nothing like the inconsolable little guy he was before.

My moods seem to follow that rhythm also. I knew that having a baby would be an incredibly emotional experience. What I didn't expect is that now, even almost 2 months after Charlie's arrival, that I would still feel raw, vulnerable and weepy at times.

Maybe it's the breastfeeding battle and the fact that I have consciously chosen to give up; let go. But I still haven't completely let go. I'm pumping 3 to 4 times a day and freezing as much milk as I can. I was supposed to stop yesterday but couldn't. Now the deadline has be extended yet again to next week. I know this needs to end somehow, but I'm still obviously not ready for it to be now.

1 comment:

Olive said...

Aw, kelly. You are such a great mommy.

Your patience and perseverance are truly an inspiration.




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