Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Rain on a clear day

I just received another call from my doctor. My estrogen levels are dropping instead of rising, for the second time in two days my doctor offered me the chance to cancel the cycle. He said IVF is still our best chance.  He said he would pray for me.  We are still moving forward; it will take a miracle.

There is only one that can accomplish that if it's his plan.  After a good sob session I'm at peace (for the moment); it's all up to him.  He can move mountains if he chooses to.  He knows the pain and emptiness inside of me.  He knows the desires of my heart.  He knows.

In spite of all of this I will try to find the positivesJoe and I were very concerned about the possibility of extra embryos and it weighed on us how we proceed with our beliefs.  A small quiet voice inside of me whispered, well he has taken that burden from you, there's no decision to make. 

Today in the midst of all my tears I heard that quiet voice again.  Maybe, just maybe he is going to make a miracle happen. What a dramatic testimony I would have if after all these obstacles, after all the heartache, pain and just difficulty at every turn- that all our sorrows and suffering would be transformed into a miraculous beautiful life.


See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19
 

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