Drumroll please...

We are having twins! I had my first ultrasound last night.  Joe left work early to join me.  Something in the back of my head told me that this extreme nausea I've been having, so strong that it wakes me at night, had some cause.  Joe had a feeling as well.

My doc who normally puts the ultrasound screen directly in view for me to see turned it towards himself for a minute to get a clear view.  Joe could still see from his vantage point and he told me after the fact that he saw two black spots of the screen an instant before the doctor said, "Congratulations, it's twins!"

Wow. Wow. Wow. We are still in a state of shock and awe right now.  Both babies already have beating hearts and one measured slightly smaller than the other.  My doctor said not to immediately plan for twins because we could possibly lose one before the first trimester is over but he was very optimistic.

He also said to us that he didn't even really know if we were going to be good candidates for IVF moving forward because of all the obstacles we had and the way my body didn't respond well.  That just confirms to me that this was all in God's hands.

Well, I am off to try and soak all this information in and try to find some bland bread to soothe my tummy!

We are due the day before Thanksgiving (how fitting) but will probably go earlier because there are two. Holy moly!

Betas

Today I received the news from my second beta blood test. We went from 365 to 698 which the nurse was very happy about! I have officially graduated from morning monitoring and blood work until my first ultrasound at 5 1/2 weeks on the March 29th. That's when we will find out if there are one or two beans growing.

I have to include a shot of the bean since it's been so long. 

Pregnant!

I caved last night and took a test and it immediately came up positive!  I can't believe it.

I had my initial blood work today and my beta was 365, a very good number according to my nurse.  So I will continue to go in for blood work to make sure my numbers keep doubling and in about 2 weeks I will have my first ultrasound to see if there is one or two babies in there.

Tonight I am praising God for answered prayers!

Sun shining down

Yesterday was a big day, our embryo transfer.  In the morning I kept waiting for a call that we wouldn't be able to proceed; that our embryos hadn't made it. There were so many times this cycle when I received bad calls, I was just preparing myself for it.  We were nearly cancelled 3 times in 2 weeks.

No news meant good news.  We rushed around in the morning food shopping, organizing things for when my Mom would take Charlie and getting all my pre-procedure prep ready.

I had laser acupuncture before the transfer (it is supposed to help increase the odds of implantation) and then was walked up to the operating room area.  By this point my bladder uncomfortably full, the doctors need it to be so they can visualize the uterus for the transfer.

The doctor came in and he said he had great news.  We had 3 great embryos, one that was a grade AA, AB and BB.  AA is the highest quality and healthiest type of embryo.  Joe and I couldn't have been more shocked because up until this point we were told they was a chance that all embryos could be lost, there were no guarantees.  To be told that you have fabulous, beautiful embryos was so incredible. 

The procedure itself was a little uncomfortable but it was over very quickly.  We transferred the 2 best and will freeze the additional one.  The technology is so advanced that we were able to see our embryos loaded up from the petri dish into a pipette and watch the transfer on the ultrasound. It's amazing.

And now we just sit and wait.  I will have my pregnancy test next Wednesday.

I have to give thanks to God because he has literally carried me through this process, I wouldn't have made it through whole without him.

I firmly believe that our embryos did so beautifully because of the prayers that were sent up to God on my behalf.  Prayer is so powerful and it is what turned everything around for us.  I had so many beautiful friends and family praying for me and for those little lives growing in the lab. 

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Psalm 136:1

Egg Retrieval Surgery

They were able to retrieve 8 eggs.  The valium and drugs they give are lovely because when I woke up I felt as though I had slept for 12 hours, ha.  I'm a little crampy still and a bit out of it but no worse for the wear.

Now only time will tell whether any of those eggs grow into healthy embryos.  I need to just let go at this point.  No amount of worrying is going to change the outcome  It's all in God's hands.

Rain on a clear day

I just received another call from my doctor. My estrogen levels are dropping instead of rising, for the second time in two days my doctor offered me the chance to cancel the cycle. He said IVF is still our best chance.  He said he would pray for me.  We are still moving forward; it will take a miracle.

There is only one that can accomplish that if it's his plan.  After a good sob session I'm at peace (for the moment); it's all up to him.  He can move mountains if he chooses to.  He knows the pain and emptiness inside of me.  He knows the desires of my heart.  He knows.

In spite of all of this I will try to find the positives.  Joe and I were very concerned about the possibility of extra embryos and it weighed on us how we proceed with our beliefs.  A small quiet voice inside of me whispered, well he has taken that burden from you, there's no decision to make. 

Today in the midst of all my tears I heard that quiet voice again.  Maybe, just maybe he is going to make a miracle happen. What a dramatic testimony I would have if after all these obstacles, after all the heartache, pain and just difficulty at every turn- that all our sorrows and suffering would be transformed into a miraculous beautiful life.


See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19