Sunday, February 6, 2011

Messages from above

Very recently Joe and I decided to wade into unknown waters and pursue an IVF (in vitro fertilization) cycle. This whole infertility process has brought out a lot of pain and sadness and has felt like it has pushed at my faith at times.  But He has been there and is there every step of the way.

The other day I was finishing up my bible study I folded the book on a page where I had a highlighted one line: Suffering is a means to deeper communion with God. I know he is drawing me nearer in this process,  I feel his presence.

Then in my bible group the beautiful circle of woman I study with asked if they could pray over me.  I felt so blessed.

I had an incredible experience this morning.  Last night a dear friend of mine called me to invite me to go to her church to hear a guest speaker.  Right before she had called I had been praying and reflecting on how I hadn't felt like I had done much to be close with him yesterday.  I felt God was sending me a message through my friend to go see this speaker.

Joe and Charlie and I piled up into the car this morning and sat with our friends right near the front of the church.   We sang some beautiful hymns and prayers.  And the the guest speaker walked up to the podium.  And what did the he speak about the whole time?

He started with the story of Abraham and Sarah and how they wanted so badly to have a child but couldn't.  And God came to them at the old age of 90 and 100 and told them they would have a baby.  He actually talked about infertility (!) and how at times our dreams may seem like they are impossible to fulfill but that through God everything is possible.

His message was one of waiting on God's timing and having faith that God is not finished with us, not even on our last day here.  I sat there in the pew crying quietly because I literally felt like God was reaching out to me through this man.  My dear friend turned to me in the midst of this and whispered "there are no coincidences," and she is so right.

I feel so humbled that my Lord and savior is such a personal God that he would reach out to me in such an intimate way.  So gentle, so loving, so compassionate.  There are people out there suffering far greater tragedies than I and yet he cares enough to touch my life in such a profound, beautiful way.

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