Excess

I remember when I was pregnant walking around town I would look at some of the local toddlers in their designer outfits and preteens with their blackberries (I kid you not- they call it the gold coast for a reason) and think to myself, "I will not spoil my child." It is an easy affirmation to make when you have yet to look into the beautiful eyes of your sweet baby.

Now it seems as if each time I am out shopping I have this urge or need to buy something- clothes/toys/etc- for Charlie. Fighting that urge is extremely hard.

I used to have a will of steel when it came to making purchases. I would wait for the sales, swoop in with my coupons and make out like a bandit. Now, if I see a toy has a seal of approval or won some parenting award I cannot walk away from it.

It's ridiculous to me when I know that Charlie cannot truly appreciate or understand the things I'm providing for him, and yet at times I still can't help myself. I don't want to make a precedent that I feel obliged to maintain- I never was a "keep up with the Jone's" type.

It's even more difficult when we are entering the media-tagged 'season of giving.' I want my son to know that Christmas and the holidays are not just about presents and Santa. I want him to know intimately the real meaning of the this time of year- the birth of Jesus.

I want my son to being thankful for the blessings in his life. My hope is to make an annual trip with him to deliver old toys and clothes of his to the Salvation Army, and when he is old enough donating our time as a family to a soup kitchen. I'm going to try and tighten the purse strings and find some sort of balance in the midst of it all.