Happy 11 month Bday Little Bean!

A couple of shots from our day...

Funny the tv wasn't on, but his expression looks differently!

I have altogether given up on getting the 'sitting in chair' shot.
-those days are long gone...

That's my baby :o)

Spring Cleaning

It's been a little crazy over here at the homestead between house inspections, putting our house on the market, cleaning and decluttering, sprucing up the inside and outside wherever we can and oh yeah taking care of the bean too.

And I am seriously missing my play yard/baby prison/safe containment. It basically took up our whole living room- not so appealing to people who are looking to see how spacious the rooms are. On the positive side, I will probably shed some poundage chasing Charlie up and down the hallway!

All fun exciting things though. Last night I lay restless in bed for hours, full of happy energy because I'm so excited for this new change and direction in our life. Needless to say I am sooo tired tonight because I barely slept- so off to dreamland I go *hopefully*!

Down for the count again

Last night at about midnight I started to feel a little off. I was restless all night, getting up every hour on the hour from pains in my stomach. At first I didn't know if it was anxiety from Charlie having such an awful going-to-bed experience, (he threw up twice and cried for an hour +) but then all day today I could barely do anything.

I slept when Charlie napped and hobbled along, gripping my stomach when I had to get up. Thank God Joe helped me so much today with Charlie. I'm starting to feel a little better now, thank the Lord. Now I'm just praying the bean and Joe will not succumb to this awful bug.

Feeling more in control

Thanks to everyone for their compassion and encouraging words. I had a good cleansing cry the other night after Charlie fought going to bed to the point of projectile vomiting everywhere. That's a new problem I need to address- trying to get him to go down on his own without getting so upset that he chokes and then throws up. But we'll get there...

Yesterday was a MUCH better day and today I have a more relaxed and calm attitude. I'm lucky to have friends and family that support me so often. Being a mother is harder than I ever imagined it could be, but when Charlie is asleep at night I miss him and look forward to the adventures the next day has in store for us.

In other news, we have an accepted offer on that house I had mentioned before. I'm holding my breath until the inspection (more likely until closing day when everything is signed), but I really think this house could be our forever home. It needs soooo much work (new kitchen, baths, paint, roof, windows) but we can do it all on our own time schedule.

It's a colonial on a nice a quiet road with plenty of land for Charlie to run around and for me to garden to my heart's content. Joe and I can turn that old kitchen around and breath new life into it, I'm sure. And there is enough room to invite our family and friends over for get-togethers. I can't wait. I'm looking at paint colors, dreaming up Charlie's room (I think we're going to go for a nautical beachy theme for his room and the whole house.) I'll leave you with a few shots from our first kitchen and bath reno...

BeforeAfter

Before

After

Worried

Several months back I mentioned an issue Charlie was having with his eyes, a condition called exotropia, where one eye drifts outward. Well I had noticed his eyes were doing it more recently. The problem only manifests when he is lethargic or just waking up.

When I first noticed the problem he was able to 'reset,' as I called it, almost instantaneously. Recently I've noticed it has taken him longer for his eyes to become symmetrical when he is waking up. Yesterday we went back to the specialist so she could have a look at him again and she was able to catch his subtle drift with one of her eye tests.

My job is to monitor it for the next 4 months, see if it worsens, or see if one eye is worse than the other. I wish there was something I could do now, some sort of action other than observing him.

Should his eyes worsen, there is a spectrum of different solutions from wearing a patch to surgery to strengthen the eye muscles-- but all of it makes my stomach hurt to be honest.

Beyond the eye issues, today I am not feeling like a great Mommy. When I was at my sister Danielle's last night she noted that Charlie wasn't holding his own bottles (I was feeding him his bedtime bottle at the time) and how her children all were holding their bottles by this point. She wasn't being judgemental in any way, shape or form- just making an observation.

But out creeps that little monster I try to keep hidden- self doubt. I tried to given Charlie his formula in a sippy cup this morning and he just wouldn't have it, he freaked and wanted it the way he always has it. I will have to keep trying, but first I have to shake this shadow hanging over me. Lord do I wish there was a handbook that came attached to the bean, because sometimes I feel so completely lost.

Happy St. Patty's!

We had a yummy Irish feast at my sister's house tonight and Charlie had a blast with all his cousins. We also got the chance to see the space station flying by in it's orbit over the house, a pretty fun night if I do say so.

Oh and can someone tell me why my pictures are loading up with huge white borders? I have no idea what I'm doing wrong here...

Yowza

It's been a crazy week over here and I've had barely any time to catch my breath. Still going back and forth on that house we made a bid on, but I could make a post out of that story alone.

Tuesday night I had a book club get together with some other lovely Mommy friends of mine. Around ten pm Joe called me and I heard Charlie wailing in the background- not good.

Poor guy ended up having yet another ear infection. And now I'm thinking the new meds they gave me are aggravating his reflux. Ugh.

Yesterday was one of "those" days. Joe had to fly out last minute to California for work in the midst of me going to the doctor with a very unhappy baby. I am such a wus when it comes to my husband being out of town. I become one huge emotional stressball. Thank God my Mom came down and saved the day, she helped me immensely, in ways I cannot express. Thank you Mom :o)

I was trying to rush through Stop & Shop to pick up Charlie's antibiotics and get home to say goodbye to Joe (so he could make it to the airport on time) . It was a comedy of errors. Huge lines in the middle of the day, they had my insurance info all messed up so it took a half hour longer than the 20 mins it usually takes, everyone was moving as slow as molasses. I could feel my blood pressure rising...

Tonight my bean was fit to be tied. He cried for nearly two hours. I tried all the tricks and then I gave him maalox and he fell asleep in my arms. Needless to say my first call of the morning will be to my pedi about those meds.

I'd like to end on a few positive notes:
next week is SPRING, thank the Lord!
My little guy has the brightest smiles when he wakes up from his naps
I can't wait for Saturday to see my dear Joe. I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful supportive helpful husband who is as smitten with our little boy as I am.
Saturday Joe and I are celebrating our five year anniversary and it just keeps getting better.
I'm a lucky girl...

The bean's first haircut!

and Mama got all misty-eyed...

Before

During (he didn't cry until the end)

After!

Playing with grandpa

Anniversary gift...

Next weekend Joe and I will be celebrating our five year anniversary. We've been in the market for a larger house for a while now and just put a bid on a fixer-upper on a nice piece of property yesterday.

If we end up getting it, it will be a fitting anniversary gift since we should be giving each other a gift made from wood...to be continued :o)

Happy 10 Month Birthday to my Bean

Some shots to document the big day :o)

New tricks

He accepts tips or veggie sticks...

How I find him when nap time is over.

I'm (meaning Mama) in sooo much trouble now...

Into everything!

Turning the corner

Well after another really bad night on Tuesday, last night was much better. Here's hoping Charlie will sleep well tonight also. I'm really hoping we'll be better by the weekend because I can't stand being stuck inside on a self-enforced quarantine for much longer!

I cannot wait for spring to arrive so we can air out!

Since Charlie was feeling a little better today I tried out some new finger foods-dried apricots, hard boiled egg white and broccoli. I'm trying to transition to table foods, but it's not exactly going that great so far. Pretty much everything I've tried to give to him in little pieces has inspired a gag reaction ha, ha! I guess persistence is the key...

No rest for the weary...

Another near sleepless night. Here's how it played out:
6:30pm earlier bedtime because he was super cranky
7:00pm whining
7:20pm whining
7:50pm whining
8:20pm whining
8:50pm crying Joe goes in to take care of him so I can try and sneak in some sleep-Ha!
8:50-9:50 up crying
10-11:00pm falls asleep on Joe
11:00pm-1:00am crying off and on, try every trick in the book to soothe. Take his temp at 11:30 and he has 103.5 fever- obviously it's not just the teething now.
1:30am back down to sleep
3:00am-5:00am up crying
5:00-8:00 Charlie Joe and Kell actually get some sleep.

8:20am Kell drags her sorry butt out of the house with the bean to go to the pedi to find out he has a nasty ear infection.

I am sending out a quiet prayer to God that our family can get some quality, recuperative sleep tonight. I don't remember the last time when Charlie was sleeping through-I should page back through the blog for this info, but I'm not even asking for a full 8 hours. I think 5 would be blissful at this point.

Sleep, ha, what's that?!

Last night was another night where I contemplated how the human species has survived for so many millennia. Charlie has four teeth in various stage of breakthrough from swollen, painfully large red bumps, to raw open slices where the pearly white is finally showing through. Once again We.were.up.for.hours.And hours.And hours.

When he was crying so much that he couldn't even see through his tears to see that Noggin was on our TV I switched over to HGTV, what's the difference anyway? At least I could catch a few minutes of property virgins in between. Ha, ha does that even make sense? Does that sound cold hearted?

What I don't understand is why parents don't talk about teething (and how difficult it is) more. I was blissfully naive as to how horrendous a process this can be. Maybe it's that you can't understand until you're in the midst of it, I don't know.

Here's another random thought that passed through my cerebral cortex last night. Why do people have to have sooooo many teeth- are they all completely necessary?! I'll leave you with that profound thought to ponder ha, ha...

Playing with that lens some more...

Trying out different lighting...

Oh my...

Wow, I am nearly at a loss for words on how last night went. Nearly.

The bean cried/moaned/sobbed/writhed from 10pm to 3:30am with short bouts of non-projectile-crying in between. How desperate were Joe and I for sleep you ask? Well let's say that at about 2am we powered up Joe's laptop navigated to a Veggietales video on Hulu.com and then propped the laptop onto the ottoman in Charlie's bedroom, put him in the crib and tried to get him to fall asleep watching tv just to try and find some peace for everyone in the house, Malcolm included. The end result to an impromptu movie theatre in the bean's room: notsogood.

I have to say there were times last night where I just felt like I didn't have it in me to be totally present for Charlie because I was sooo incredibly exhausted/drained/sleep deprived for days/call it whatever you want. Thank God for Joe is all I can say.

The only thing that dragged my sorry butt out of bed today was the early morning walk-in hours at my pedis. Charlie has a nasty virus that we're going to have to ride it out on top of the reflux, leftover stomach bug issues and really bad teething we're dealing with. Please Charlie's teeth break through soon for my sanity's sake.

Today, with the exception of Charlie wanting to superglue himself to my body when he was awake, he was in much better spirits. Prayers for a good night sleep with be at the top of my list for my bedtime routine tonight.

Ugggh

Well my poor little guy has a nasty tummy bug right now. We had a rough night but are hoping for a better day and also have our fingers crossed that Joe and I don't catch this.

Once again I am in awe of how single parents and even parents with multiple children are able to juggle everything. I have much to learn...

Trying out the new camera lens

I bought a new Canon SLR camera when Charlie was first born. The lens that came with my camera kit was fine, but I wanted to try something different. After lots of research I purchased an 85 mm f1.8.

Wow, what a difference a lens makes. But here, you can be the judge:

Gotta throw in a bean shot too:

Mommy Procrastinator

Charlie is all over the place pulling up, trying to cruise and he has perfected his crawl to the point where, when he sees Malcolm, he takes off like there's no tomorrow.

I bought a mini 'baby prison' similar to this one but have yet to set it up. Seems like now is the time since Charlie has this knack for seeking the one thing in a room that can cause him the most bodily harm, lovely eh?

In other news we have regressed in the sleep department due to the bean's two top teeth causing him a lot of pain. We're getting up every night again around 1ish and sometimes at 6am too. I'm trying to be positive and think "this too shall pass" and hope we don't fall into another pattern of endless night waking.

That and the reflux is awful again- I had to change up both not one two or three but four times today because he was spitting so much ugh. I am off to wash the stinkiness throw-upy smell from my body bleh. He is so lucky that he's so darn cute :o)

This is what I have waiting for me in the morning...